do you have a hard time regulating your emotions and feel you go from 0 to 100?
maybe you feel detached from your body?
struggle to understand who you really are?
only find comfort and a sense of peace when you’ve had a drink, or jump into the next big project at work?
can’t remember the last time you had a good night of sleep?
have a hard time trusting people?
virtual RElational trauma therapy in pa
These may be signs you’ve experienced relational trauma.
Not all trauma looks the same.
*This is in no way an exhaustive list of the ways that individuals may experience relational trauma, nor is it a “black and white” situation. Within a compassionate, brave space, I can help to distinguish the nuance that these situations or ones like it have impacted your life, and finally work towards deep healing.
Do any of these situations sound familiar to your childhood or adolescent years?
being beaten or hit as a child?
heard constant criticism or felt humiliated by your caregivers?
being subjected to inappropriate or non-consensual sexual contact?
being dismissed, told to “suck it up,” or completely ignored when you experienced negative emotions?
experienced vicious bullying at home or school?
felt as if your caregivers “swept things under the rug” and moved on as if nothing happened after major conflict?
felt responsible for making things better when your parent was upset?
felt like you had to hide parts of who you were to fit in or stay safe?
been in relationships where your partner controlled what you wore, what you could spend, or dictated how/when you had sexual contact?
felt like there were “double standards” or different expectations for you compared to your partner?
felt as if you were “walking on eggshells” and were extra careful of what you said and how you acted?
found out your “friends” were spreading harmful and untrue rumors about you?
felt guilt for not “making things right” when your parents or family members were in distress?
felt pressured to stay in an affinity group (i.e., religious/spiritual) for fear of losing connection?
worried you don’t know who you are and never really did?
What about in adulthood?
“Who hurt you once, / so far beyond repair / that you would greet each overture / with curling lip?”
— Louise Penny, How The Light Gets In
What we’ll work on in relational therapy:
Give voice to the parts of you who have been harmed
Build confidence in yourself that there is nothing wrong with you
Identify your personal boundaries as a way to reclaim your power
Compassionately hold space for the guilt and shame you’ve been carrying
Restore trust and safety in your nervous system to allow for more fulfilling connections